I’ve been a psychotherapist for fifty years now and I’ve seen a lot of angry men and counseled thousands of women who live with angry men. I’ve also helped many more relationships recover when they’ve been on the brink of ending. I’ve found that there is one problem that causes more damage than any other,...Continue reading
There is nothing more satisfying than finding the love of your life and nothing more painful than finding your loved one has cheated on you. This year I’ll celebrate 50 years working to help men and women live joyful, passionate, lives. Since receiving my graduate degree from U.C. Berkeley in 1968, I have counseled more...Continue reading
Angry white male voters. Men’s boorish—if not criminal—behavior highlighted by the #MeToo movement. The backlash after the Kavanaugh hearings. These have provoked much talk about “male rage,” as if it is a single definable phenomenon concentrated among working-class white Trump supporters. This is simplistic and wrong. And it makes it more difficult to address the...Continue reading
The six weeks encompassing Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s—collectively called “the holidays”—are for most a magically unique time of year, filled with holiday carols, reunions, displays of colorful lights, love, and affection, often expressed through gift giving. But for some, the holidays bring hurt. Caused by factors including the weather, separation, death, stress, unrealistic expectations,...Continue reading
I’ll be 75 years old this year. My wife, Carlin, will be 80. Even our 5 children are rushing past mid-life. We’ve all had health challenges that we talk about with family, friends, and our health-care providers. But there’s one problem that remains hidden. It’s depression and bipolar disorder. My father suffered from them for...Continue reading
We’ve bought into the greatest con job in human history. We’ve been taught that civilization is the pinnacle of human achievement and saved us from a life that was solitary, poor, nasty, and brutish as the philosopher Thomas Hobbs described it. In fact, it is civilization that is solitary, poor, nasty, and brutish. We’ve been...Continue reading
Derrick, a 28-year-old Richmond, Ca., man with an associate’s degree, loves his job doing after-school mentoring, tutoring, and coaching sports with elementary students in west Oakland, but with only 21 hours at work each week at $12.50 per hour, he struggles to pay his $1,400 rent and take care of his 1-year-old daughter. “I like...
Steven Wilkerson, a former Marine who fought in Iraq and a father of three, makes $8 an hour at a Tampa fast-food restaurant. He usually gets off work and takes the bus home at 10 p.m., too late to see his kids before they go to bed. Wilkerson, 28, is just one of millions of...
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m in the military and about to deploy. I have two children under 5 and a third who will be born while I’m gone. What should I do prepare (them, my wife, and myself) before I leave? A: At any given moment, there are about half a million children under five in military...Continue reading
Feminist ignoring of male issues has especially harmed the black community. “Intersectionality is a concept often used in critical theories to describe the ways in which oppressive institutions (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, xenophobia, classism, etc.) are interconnected and cannot be examined separately from one another.” Intersectionality is a well-known word among people concerned about those who...Continue reading