maternal gatekeeping

Eight Things Women Can Do to Get Men More Involved, part 2

Last week we talked about five things women can do to get their partners to take on more responsibility in the home, and, in particular, with the children. Here are three more. If you have any suggestions to add to the list, please drop us an email.

  • No gatekeeping. Many women take charge of the household and childcare because they want to be in control. But too often, being in control means pushing their partner out of the way and not letting him participate. For other women, control isn’t the issue: they just assume that men are either uninterested or incompetent. And men get the message: many find it easier to just back off. By the time women become mothers, most have had years of subtle (or not-so-subtle) training. Female role models are plentiful, as are resources. But good male role models are rare, as is information specifically designed to help men prepare for fatherhood (the exception being the books and other resources I’ve created for dads). The moral of the story? Let your partner try to figure things out for himself before you jump in. Men and women have different approaches to the same issue and fathers need the confidence that comes only with practice. Letting him develop his own parenting style will also give your family twice as many baby-care options.

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Photo by Khosit Sakul-Kaew on Unsplash

Armin Brott

View posts by Armin Brott
Armin Brott is the proud father of three, a former U.S. Marine, a best-selling author, radio host, speaker, and one of the country’s leading experts on fatherhood. He writes frequently about fatherhood, families, and men's health. Read more about Armin or visit his website, You can also connect via social media: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest,  and Linkedin.

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