How do you solve tough problems? Maybe you pick at them until they’re gone. Maybe you dance around them until they’re contained. One thing I like to do is to step away and examine them as an outsider, from a completely different perspective. In other words, get out of the trees and look at the whole...Continue reading
Category: Family Issues
From Penn State to Afghanistan–Why Do We See No Evil When Boys Are Sexually Abused?
When I was about 12 years old, my mother took me to visit one of her cousins. As the evening approach, she and her cousin decided to go to a concert and they left me in the care of her cousin’s husband. Since I didn’t really know him, I decided to go into one of the...Continue reading
Breaking the Mother-Son Dynamic: Resetting the Patterns of a Man’s Life and Loves
Thomas Wolfe says, “You can never go home again.” However, to go forward, I have to go backward from time to time. I return to the places where the dreams began: my hometown and the small college where I did my undergraduate work. That’s where I’m sitting right now, writing these pages. Through the windows I see the amphitheater...Continue reading
Six Steps to Intimacy with Your Menopausal Partner
As a menopause care provider, I usually have these discussions with women. But you’d be surprised how many men also want to talk about how intimacy is changing–or has disappeared- -as their wives navigate menopause. First, some definitions of terms: Perimenopause precedes menopause. The systems that have kept periods regular and supported pregnancy and childbirth...Continue reading
On Turning 50
A milestone is a mark for life’s pathways that is to be a road sign that reminds us of a destination, detour, or danger. My 50th birthday arrived with several signs that provided me with a reminder of the miles that I have traveled; the detours that brought me back to the right direction; and...Continue reading
Ghost Mothers and Ghost Lovers
Editor’s note: This post is part 3 in a 3 part series on the Mother-Son dynamic. Click here for the other posts in the series. The child who finds out, all too abruptly and too soon, that he cannot count on his mother’s strength to be there for him . . . feels he has only...
Wrestling With the Witch
Editor’s note: This post is part 1 in a 3 part series on the Mother-Son dynamic. Click here for the other posts in the series. The other night I had a dream: I was running down a dark street. I had a lot of money in my wallet, and knew it was dangerous to be in...Continue reading
Do You Have A Hydrocele?
A hydrocele is sac that is filled with fluid which forms on a testicle. It causes inflammation or swelling in the scrotum. They are most common in babies, but can affect males of any age. In adult men, it often affects those that are middle-aged or older. They are not a very serious condition as...Continue reading
Do Opposites Attract? Magnets, Yes. People, No.
How many of the women you’ve dated look–even just a little–like your mother? Probably more than you think (or than you’d like to admit). That may be a little off-putting to contemplate, but it’s nothing to be embarrassed about–we all do it. It may be politically incorrect to say so, but we’re biologically wired to...Continue reading