When I was growing up, men and women had different roles. The old rules required men to be the protectors and breadwinners. Women’s role was to be the homemakers and nurturers. Men’s world was outside the home in the workplace and women’s world was inside the home with the family. The old rules assumed marriage...Continue reading
Category: Mental Health
Our Child is a Brat–and it’s Your Fault
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m a single dad with a 9-year-old daughter who’s with me half the time. Before the divorce, she was a sweet kid and a pleasure to be around. But lately she’s become a terror, throwing tantrums when she doesn’t get what she wants—and I think it’s because her mother is spoiling her....Continue reading
#MeToo, Men, and the Polarization of the Left and Right: The End of Humanity or a New Beginning?
Let me go on record and declare myself. I believe the MeToo Movement is good for women and men. I believe that men are good, but many are confused and angry. I believe that we must end the polarization of the left and right or humanity is in danger of destroying itself. I have five...Continue reading
When It Comes to Stereotypes, Words Matter. A Lot.
A few days ago, I heard a young father telling his son—who was probably around 10 or 11—to “man up.” I started thinking about that phrase and wondered about all the gender stereotyping we do without even realizing it. Are expressions like “man up” harmless parts of or language or do they make a difference?...Continue reading
What’s Good About Men? Learn the 12 Rules for Good Men
On November 21, 2019, I celebrated the birth of my son, Jemal. He turned 50 years old. At the moment he was born and I held him for the first time, I made a promise that I would be a better father than my father was able to be for me. I also vowed to...
The Epidemic—and Consequences—of Male Loneliness
Loneliness kills. According to former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, isolation and weak social connections “are associated with a reduction in lifespan similar to that caused by smoking fifteen cigarettes a day and even greater than that associated with obesity.” Even when it’s not fatal, loneliness makes life a lot less pleasant. We’ll talk about...Continue reading
Beards: The Secret to Success or the Kiss of Death?
Dear Healthy Men: Do women really find men with beards more attractive than clean-shaven guys? A: According to the old story, in 1860, Abraham Lincoln grew a beard in response to a suggestion from an 11-year-old girl who said it would make him a more attractive presidential candidate. She was right. About 140 years later, another...Continue reading
Boys and Men in America Are Killing Themselves and No One Seems to Care
Men and boys continue to have a higher death rate in nine of the 10 leading causes of death. Why? To start with, the overall healthcare system is inherently unfriendly to males. And, in some health care situations men tell us they do not feel welcome at all. There are other systemic concerns, including insufficient...Continue reading
How to Save Your Marriage Before It’s Too Late
“I Love You, But I’m Not in Love with You.” What Does It Mean? I’ve been a marriage counselor for fifty years now. I’ve heard these words from both women and men. Whether you’re a man hearing them from your spouse or a woman hearing them from yours, the feeling is devastating. Most of the...Continue reading
Forget About Whether Bigger Is Better: Is it Even Possible?
You may be convinced that you are not very well endowed in your private parts. Certainly, using the Internet to figure out where you stand on size won’t help you feel any better about yourself. And, you can always find someone who will promise to make you bigger and better in any number of ways....Continue reading