We’ve bought into the greatest con job in human history. We’ve been taught that civilization is the pinnacle of human achievement and saved us from a life that was solitary, poor, nasty, and brutish as the philosopher Thomas Hobbs described it. In fact, it is civilization that is solitary, poor, nasty, and brutish. We’ve been...Continue reading
Derrick, a 28-year-old Richmond, Ca., man with an associate’s degree, loves his job doing after-school mentoring, tutoring, and coaching sports with elementary students in west Oakland, but with only 21 hours at work each week at $12.50 per hour, he struggles to pay his $1,400 rent and take care of his 1-year-old daughter. “I like...
Steven Wilkerson, a former Marine who fought in Iraq and a father of three, makes $8 an hour at a Tampa fast-food restaurant. He usually gets off work and takes the bus home at 10 p.m., too late to see his kids before they go to bed. Wilkerson, 28, is just one of millions of...
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m in the military and about to deploy. I have two children under 5 and a third who will be born while I’m gone. What should I do prepare (them, my wife, and myself) before I leave? A: At any given moment, there are about half a million children under five in military...Continue reading
Feminist ignoring of male issues has especially harmed the black community. “Intersectionality is a concept often used in critical theories to describe the ways in which oppressive institutions (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, xenophobia, classism, etc.) are interconnected and cannot be examined separately from one another.” Intersectionality is a well-known word among people concerned about those who...Continue reading
Dear Mr. Dad: You often talk about how to be an involved dad, but how can I be an involved husband, especially while my wife is pregnant? A: Here are some ideas that will boost your popularity at home and make your wife the envy of all of her friends, pregnant or otherwise: Offer to give...Continue reading
Dear Mr. Dad. I’m marrying a woman who has two teenagers from her previous marriage. This is my first marriage and, although I like her kids, I’m a little worried about how I’ll do as a stepfather of teens. Any suggestions? A: About half of all marriages are remarriages for at least one of the partners,...Continue reading
Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I just found out she’s pregnant. I thought the pregnancy was going to bring us together, but we’ve been arguing a lot lately. Either that or silence. Is this normal? Either way, what can we do to get back on track? A: Pregnancy is a time of great joy...Continue reading
Dear Mr. Dad: My beautiful son was born just a few weeks ago and I’m overjoyed. But my wife is a different story. She’s very down in the dumps, barely eats, and has no energy. I know that giving birth took a toll on her, but I’m worried. What should I do? A: About 70% of...Continue reading
You might think talking was easy. We’ve all been doing it since we were children. But most of us talk in ways that do not inspire safety and trust. When couples aren’t able to communicate effectively their relationships begin to deteriorate. That’s when marriages often fail. I’ve been a marriage and family therapist for more...Continue reading