Manhood today is maligned and misunderstood. Some believe maleness itself is inherently destructive and should be eliminated. In his book, The End of Manhood, John Stoltenberg says that the notion of manhood “is a sham, a trap, and those who would redeem it are kidding themselves, for manhood is a mask, incompatible with truly human selfhood.” Others...Continue reading
Category: Growing Up
Boys Are in Trouble
The often-justifiable anger of women toward men has left boys in the lurch. In one of my earliest posts on Psychology Today, back in March 2010, I wrote of how stuck I felt being a liberal who cared about boys (and young men). While the data clearly showed that boys were struggling in school, and in other...Continue reading
Media Messages Affect Us
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m a new dad and have been reading to my baby. But I’ve started to notice that most of the parents in children’s books are moms. There are some books where dad is the main parent, but most of the time we’re not there at all. My wife says that the media...Continue reading
The Gift of Maleness Part 3: Fearfully Great
It’s difficult not to feel stressed and depressed when we reflect on the state of our world. Our political world is in disarray and extreme climate is seen throughout the country. Fires continue to burn throughout California. Here in Willits where I live we breathe the smoke every day from The Ranch Fire near Ukiah...Continue reading
You Don’t Hit Girls
Women’s physical vulnerability is real, but men need not hold back in debate One of the clearest messages I heard from my father when I was a boy was this: You don’t hit girls. I wasn’t supposed to start fights with boys either, but if one of them were to hit me, my dad made...Continue reading
The Politics Of Fatherlessness
After the Baltimore riots, Dr. Richard Vatz discussed the politics of fatherlessness, saying: “Progressive political leaders are loathe to address or discuss fatherlessness as a problem and resent those who do… When I have discussions on the topic with Republicans, they say the issue should be front and center but claim there is no willing audience...Continue reading
American Popular Culture Has Portrayed Fathers As Drooling Idiots For WAY TOO LONG
Most people see thousands of media images daily. Over time, these portrayals help shape our expectations of parenthood, in ways some call “gender stereotyping.” While the media now lambastes fatherhood, portrayals weren’t always this way. Bob Thompson, director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture, said: “While dads in ‘Leave It to Beaver’ and ‘The Donna...Continue reading
America Has A Major Fatherlessness Problem on Its Hands
After yet another school shooting, which we all knew would eventually happen, the connection between fatherlessness and school shooters has finally been seriously exposed. Several videos, discussing the links between fatherlessness and school shooters, generated over ten million views and articles drew an unprecedented level of interest. In fact, for the first time in decades, the issue broke into the national media, in...Continue reading
White Boy: A Summer Job and the Making of Manhood, Part III
20. Mid-July was a transition point for me in the warehouse. For the first time, I now had something interesting to do over the lunch break. In addition, I had become expert in my work, and had already cut the size of the pile of damaged bags in half. I felt that I could actually...Continue reading
White Boy: A Summer Job and the Making of Manhood, Part II
8. Over the next few days, I got better at my job. I became familiar with the dinky and organized all aspects of the reconditioning process. My arms and hands began to grow accustomed to the work. By the end of the first week, my daily output of reconditioned bags began to exceed the average...Continue reading