Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and our boy-girl twins love to wrestle, but I’m worried that all that physical activity and getting revved up will make them—especially our son—see violence as acceptable. Should I be concerned? A: Not at all. In fact, the evidence supports the exact opposite conclusion. In their book, The Art of Roughhousing, Anthony...Continue reading
I am a 22-year-old man, and I have some questions for men of whom I am concerned. Gentlemen, have you had any action down there lately? No, I meant have you self-checked your testicles for any abnormalities – bumps, lumps, or humps? Regardless of your activity or lack thereof down south, you should. According to...Continue reading
It’s said that we teach what we want to learn and I’ve been teaching and learning about men’s anger and how it impacts our relationships for many years now. 2018 marks 50 years that I’ve been in the business of helping men (My wife thinks I should say, 40 plus years, because 50 years might...Continue reading
Manhood today is maligned and misunderstood. Some believe maleness itself is inherently destructive and should be eliminated. In his book, The End of Manhood, John Stoltenberg says that the notion of manhood “is a sham, a trap, and those who would redeem it are kidding themselves, for manhood is a mask, incompatible with truly human selfhood.” Others...Continue reading
The often-justifiable anger of women toward men has left boys in the lurch. In one of my earliest posts on Psychology Today, back in March 2010, I wrote of how stuck I felt being a liberal who cared about boys (and young men). While the data clearly showed that boys were struggling in school, and in other...Continue reading
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m a new dad and have been reading to my baby. But I’ve started to notice that most of the parents in children’s books are moms. There are some books where dad is the main parent, but most of the time we’re not there at all. My wife says that the media...Continue reading
It’s difficult not to feel stressed and depressed when we reflect on the state of our world. Our political world is in disarray and extreme climate is seen throughout the country. Fires continue to burn throughout California. Here in Willits where I live we breathe the smoke every day from The Ranch Fire near Ukiah...Continue reading
Women’s physical vulnerability is real, but men need not hold back in debate One of the clearest messages I heard from my father when I was a boy was this: You don’t hit girls. I wasn’t supposed to start fights with boys either, but if one of them were to hit me, my dad made...Continue reading
After the Baltimore riots, Dr. Richard Vatz discussed the politics of fatherlessness, saying: “Progressive political leaders are loathe to address or discuss fatherlessness as a problem and resent those who do… When I have discussions on the topic with Republicans, they say the issue should be front and center but claim there is no willing audience...Continue reading
Most people see thousands of media images daily. Over time, these portrayals help shape our expectations of parenthood, in ways some call “gender stereotyping.” While the media now lambastes fatherhood, portrayals weren’t always this way. Bob Thompson, director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture, said: “While dads in ‘Leave It to Beaver’ and ‘The Donna...Continue reading