The other day the journalists asked ‘Game of Thrones’ star Nikolaj Coster-Waldau to reveal the secret to his happy marriage. In HBO show he plays the role of seducer Jaime Lannister. In real life, he has been married for more than twenty years to a singer Nukaaka Coster-Waldau. GoT star said that laughing and staying physically together can help a lot.
The actor has a point here: partners need to enjoy the company of each other, and sex is one of the greatest ways to do so. The only problem is that physical intimacy gets boring in a long-term relationship. There is no room for mysteries and fantasies when you see each other every day. You have probably seen the worse moments of your partner over the past few years. Let’s face it, knowing your partner so well can kill the sexual desire.
However, sexual intercourse is considered one of the most important elements in the relationship. Great sex is an indicator of trust and passion. Also, it is the way to show each other that everything is going well between you two. If things in the bedroom began to fizzle out, it’s time to restart your relationship.
Is It Even Possible?
We do want to believe that finding your second half is possible and that the concept of ‘happily ever after’ is real. The scientists are not as romantic as Nicholas Sparks though. Case studies prove that the levels of oxytocin (widely known as the ‘love hormone’) decrease with time. A lot of couples break up after their passion faded. However, long-term relationships are real (you prove it!). You know that relationship is just something you need to work for; the same applies to your sex life. Surveys indicate that people in long-term loving relationships have the most frequent and satisfying sex. It can be explained by the fact that after a few years, partners get used to each other and don’t feel anxious about their bodies or performances in bed.
There is no need to break up or cheat on your partner in order to achieve a fantastic orgasm. There are a lot of great ways to spice up your sex life in a long-term relationship.
Open Conversation
The first and most important step is to admit that you are not completely satisfied in bed. Bring up this conversation and tell your partner what you want to improve. Try to stay positive and avoid blaming your sweetheart. If you lost your sex drive because your partner gained some weight, be honest, and say that you are always there to help.
At this point of the relationship, you think you know how to turn on your partner. However, there might be something else as well, so don’t hesitate to get this straight. If your partner doesn’t want to speak about their fantasies, you can tell yours first. That’s how you can show trust in the relationship. Whether it is something really spicy such as threesome or using realistic sex doll, accept it and don’t be judgemental. It might sound weird at the very beginning, but give yourself some time. There is a chance that at least a part of your partner’s fantasy might interest you as well. Your bedroom should be like Las Vegas, ‘what happens in there, stays in there.’
Once you stop keeping your fantasies locked away, your sex life will be more exciting. Also, it is a way to connect and bring your relationship on a whole new level. If you feel ashamed because of your secret dreams or your partner doesn’t want to open up, consider making an appointment with a sex therapist.
Take a Break
Not like Rachel and Ross did though. You don’t need to date other people to understand that your partner is the best. However, do take some time for yourself. For instance, you can go on vacation with your friends or go to the parents’ house at the weekend. Feel free to spoil yourself and finally do something you’ve wanted for a long time. You can get new impressions and then share them with your partner. It always feels nice to be around someone who’s happy and full of energy. Being apart can benefit both of you since your partner will also have time to do their thing, meet with friends and relatives.
Taking a break is healthier than forcing yourself to have sex with your partner when you don’t feel like it. Also, it is a proven way to build sexual tension and refresh your focus.
Go on a Date
If you want to spice up your sex life, connect on an emotional level first. To do so, you need to create memories together; going on dates can help with that. Also, it will cut off scheduled quickies and present sex as something you both need to work for.
Fun dating that includes engaging in activities and exploring new places can reinvigorate dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline. The human’s brain associates these chemicals with passionate love, according to the latest study. Quality time together will make you want to jump into bed with your partner. Another great idea is to take a few days off to go to an unknown place and pretend that you’ve met just recently. Sex therapists recommend changing locations from time to time.
Be Sexy
Great sex isn’t only about the mechanical movement that you’ve been practicing for years. To satisfy your partner and achieve orgasms, you need to get into the mood and bring the sexual spark back. That’s where a good old playing is needed. If you want to impress your partner and boost their desire, start flirting and sending naughty text messages. Start talking dirty and try to role-play in your bedroom. Whether you want to be a school girl, dominatrix or Iron Man, find an outfit and some prop. Don’t be afraid to explore your craziest fantasies with your partner. Stretching your boundaries in the bedroom can diversify sex.
The lack of physical intimacy can indicate deeper issues in the relationship. When partners enjoy each other’s company, they want to keep trying new things in the bedroom and outside of it, listen carefully and surprise each other. Living with someone under the same roof is always challenging, let it be fun and pleasant at least in your bedroom.
