Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I are getting divorced. Unfortunately, we’re so angry at each other that we can no longer even be in the same room together. Fortunately, despite our anger, we still understand how important each of us is to our children—and how important our children are to each of us. Do you think we’ll be able to come up with a parenting plan that works for everyone? And if so, how do we do that?
A: The quick answer to your first question is a definite Yes. The fact that you and your husband can’t stand each other is irrelevant. The two of you are putting your children and their needs first, and that’s the biggest predictor of not only your ability to create a good plan, but also of how well your children will cope with your divorce. As to the second question, here are some steps you can take that will help you build a successful, long-lasting co-parenting relationship.
- Hire a collaborative lawyer. Too often, divorce is an expensive, soul-crushing, adversarial process. It doesn’t have to be. Collaborative lawyers focus on helping their clients find common ground, minimize legal expenses, and come up with settlements that work for both parties.
- Think of your soon-to-be-ex as a business partner. The children, of course, are a successful business that neither of you wants to destroy.
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