At some point, you must wonder why he will not share his feelings with you, such as by never seeing him cry or get emotional. Western males’ unemotional intelligence is like some secret oath they are taught to take as toddlers and carry with them through life, like an old, raggedy piece of luggage. Most...Continue reading
Tag: masculinity
Talking About “Toxic Masculinity” – When Is It Okay to Be a Bigot?
Dear Mr. Dad: Have you seen that new television commercial that aims to get men to treat women better? I think it’s great and even recorded it and am playing it for my husband and son. What do you think? A: For those who missed it, the ad in question is from Gillette—a Procter & Gamble...Continue reading
To Address “Male Rage,” Consider its Nuances
Angry white male voters. Men’s boorish—if not criminal—behavior highlighted by the #MeToo movement. The backlash after the Kavanaugh hearings. These have provoked much talk about “male rage,” as if it is a single definable phenomenon concentrated among working-class white Trump supporters. This is simplistic and wrong. And it makes it more difficult to address the...Continue reading
Young Men Say They Feel Stuck in a “Man Box”
Despite the decades-long drumbeat for gender equity, young American men still feel strong social pressure to adhere to traditional male roles to be tough, sexually aggressive and controlling, even though most personally don’t believe in the tenets of old-style masculinity. This disconnect between how they feel they should act and how they say they want...Continue reading
Man or Marionette? Pinocchio and the Metamorphosis of Manhood
Since it was published in 1883, The Adventures of Pinocchio by Italian writer, Carlo Collodi, has become one of the most widely read and adapted fairy tales of all time. This may be because the character of Pinocchio represents the archetype of the classic hero- one who experiences a metamorphosis and rebirth as a result...Continue reading
Too Scared to Stop Steroids
He looked great. Ripped, tan and handsome, he appeared straight off the cover of Men’s Health magazine. But inside he wasn’t feeling as good as he looked. Something was missing…the desire to be a dad usurped his feeling for fine fettle. Muscle Juice “I was juicing by the book for years to bodybuild,” he started out. “I...Continue reading
Real Men Play with Dolls
<em>Dear Mr. Dad: A few years ago, I read an article you wrote about why dads should play with their daughters. My husband is a pretty traditional guy and has a real problem playing with our four-year old the way she wants to play—meaning tea parties and dolls—not the way he does—meaning sports and superheroes....Continue reading
Voicing Your Preferences for a Mate
Okay, so body size, youth, and symmetry play a part in dictating what we find attractive in prospective mates. Makes sense. But what about how we sound? Certainly, when it comes to romantic relationships, most humans would like to believe that since we’re more evolved than other animals, the words we speak to each other...Continue reading
Breaking the Mother-Son Dynamic: Resetting the Patterns of a Man’s Life and Loves
Thomas Wolfe says, “You can never go home again.” However, to go forward, I have to go backward from time to time. I return to the places where the dreams began: my hometown and the small college where I did my undergraduate work. That’s where I’m sitting right now, writing these pages. Through the windows I see the amphitheater...Continue reading
How Far Would You Go to Prove Your Masculinity?
There seems to be no end to the things guys will do to prove their masculinity–especially around someone whose attention we’d like to attract. If you’ve ever read Mark Twain’s classic book Tom Sawyer, you probably remember how Tom tries to win the heart of Becky Thatcher by doing all sorts of crazy (and dangerous)...Continue reading