“If he had loved her he wouldn’t have minded the distance.” —Confucius Wendell has been in recovery for quite some time now, but his mother and father haven’t. Even though Wendell is forty-six years old, his mother’s influence sticks to him like a spider’s web. He realizes that his mother has been guilt-tripping him into...Continue reading
Tag: John Lee
Rhythm of Closeness—Part II
“If two rhythms are nearly the same, and the sources are in close proximity, they will always entrain.” —Mickey Hart (drummer for The Grateful Dead) As boys, many of us couldn’t be close to our mothers without losing ourselves in their needs, or without our energy sucked out of us to sustain them. Or if our mothers were...Continue reading
Killing the Father: The Symbolic Quest of the Son
A man turns into a father all at once—no warning, no preparation, no classes. Many a woman starts turning into a mother in her early childhood. After all, she spends many hours pretending that she’s holding a baby, feeding it, changing its diapers, and nurturing it. Her doll is her someday child. At the dinner...Continue reading
The Legacy of Men’s Movement
Your teenage son just broke up with his first girlfriend. He tells his buddies about it and here’s what is so different from previous generations of men: he feels absolutely free to ask them for support to get over it. He even sheds a few tears but not one of them makes fun of him...Continue reading
Part I: Passivity and the Male Psyche
Passivity in men has been one of the least studied, discussed, and explained aspects of masculine psychology. Understanding passivity is an essential and important key to creating healthy relationships, increasing self-esteem and healing the bodies, minds, and spirits of men who are hurting or hurting others.
Solutions and Cures for Passivity
The bottom line is: Passivity is the compulsion to try to get what we are desperately longing for, while doing all the wrong things or nothing to get it. (Note: This should not be confused with patience, which is knowing something worth waiting for is just around the corner — and taking appropriate steps to...Continue reading
An Adult Fairy Tale For Understanding Grief Work
Most people think fairy tales are only for children. If one looks more closely, you will find fairy-tales, fables and stories from quite a few cultures that are for adolescents, young adults, middle-aged folks and even elders. The one I am about to tell you is about many things but specifically about the need to...Continue reading
Defending Boundaries
The following post is an excerpt from John Lee’s new book “24 Things To Increase the Emotional Intelligence of Your Man.” To find other books by John Lee visit his website www.johnleebooks.com and www.turnerpublishing.com.
Passivity and the Male Psyche: Part II
The following post is a follow up to the June 17, 2010 post Part I: Passivity and the Male Psyche. I, NOT YOU When we become truly ready to address our passivity one of the first active steps we take is to see the absolute necessity in dropping one of the most button-pushing, regressive words...