Dear Mr. Dad: I’m almost eight months pregnant and my sex life has completely disappeared. My husband used to want to make love all the time (so did I) and we did it a lot. But for the past four or five months, he hasn’t laid a hand on me. I actually feel quite sexy and he seems to agree, calling me beautiful and adorable. But that’s where it stops. To make matters worse, I looked at his phone and discovered that he’s been sexting with an old girlfriend. She lives in another country so there’s no way he’s physically cheating on me, but it still hurts. A lot. Is this my fault? What can I do to save my marriage?
A: In a word, no—your disappearing sex life is definitely not your fault, and neither is your husband’s sexting. That said, in honor of men’s health week, let me take you on a short tour of what may be happening inside your husband’s head.
- Some men believe that sex exists solely for breeding purposes. Once that’s out of the way, it’s no longer necessary.
- Some men (very few, actually) find their pregnant wife unattractive. If this is the case, it has nothing to do with you, although it’s hard to take it any other way.
- He may be worried that you’re uncomfortable and don’t feel like having sex and is trying not to inconvenience you by starting something that he thinks you won’t want to finish.
- Some men are afraid of hurting their pregnant wife and/or their growing baby. So, by not having sex with you, he’s protecting you.
