Get More Action Using The Yin/Yang

Gentlemen listen up! I am here to tell you that more sex, better sex will be yours by utilizing the ancient wisdom of Chinese Medicine. The foundation of everything in nature comes down to expressions of yin and yang. Balancing the two opposites is the art of Chinese Medicine. The same principles used to heal the body can be used to address relationship imbalances.

Most often its men who are complaining about not getting enough sex in a relationship, but the truth is women want more as well – we just have different ways of getting there.

2000px-Yin_yang.svgGenerally speaking, men represent yang energy. Yang is the white part of the Taiji symbol, representing activity, fire, and upward movement. Historically in most cultures men were the hunters, which utilized this innate strength to benefit their tribe. Today our survival requires far less “hunting” for survival. The result of having everything at our fingertips results in the yang energy being suppressed, and fire goes out when it is smothered. Clinically the smothering of fire manifests as depression, low testosterone, and a general lack of vitality.

Now there are some men who have taken the hunt to selfishly feed their starved fires. These are the men who pursue multiple women at one time; they have hot tempers, and are likely to burn out with adrenal fatigue. Both of these states are yang energy out of balance. If you notice in the Taiji symbol, the white (yang) side has a seed of black (yin) within it. The white is also flowing into the black and vise versa, meaning that there are no absolutes. The relationship between the yin and the yang is ever changing and there is always seed of potential within the other. Men with balanced yang energy will have a zest for life (in and out of the bedroom.) They are physically strong, and quickly move past problems they encounter. This is why men offer solutions to problems, which aggravates the woman who just wants to be heard. The yang energy moves like fire, unlike the yin woman who is more likely to sit still and reflect.

Now lets try to understand the yin woman and how to tap into her desire.
Yin is nourishment as opposed to yang’s movement. Its water and its energy are centered and grounded.

Historically women were the ones responsible for “holding down the fort” keeping it all together which utilized their natural abilities. Women today often work outside of the home yet still feel obligated to keep the home together, which drains their energy. The woman who is trying to do it all will likely have dry hair, skin, nails, and so on. She will probably be agitated and complain of not having time for sex. And if she tries to power through intercourse- its likely to be painfully dry.

Then there is the woman who gives up on trying to do it all and sinks into excessive eating and living a sedentary lifestyle trying to nourish their starved yin. This woman will most likely find more pleasure in activities that require less energy than sex. Their yin is so excessive that it literally drowns out the seed of yang required to spark sexual desire. Both of these women are starved sexually and believe me, they are not happy. Women want sex, they want to feel alive, but they also want to feel nurtured. The balanced woman will have a curvaceous physique, the ability to center a group of people and a natural gift for listening and comforting others.

Now that we have identified the differences between men and women, lets examine how these differences can be utilized for more sexual satisfaction. The yang man is ready to go while the yin woman needs nurturing. Guys – here is what you need to understand and it’s really simple! When you have sexual thoughts or physical arousal during the day, reach out to your woman and nurture her desire. Your spark will get her going if you do it right. Saying something vulgar out of the gate probably wont work, but if you say something that makes her feel loved or special, it opens the door for a comment later about what you want to do with that very special woman. It may take several sweet nothings before you can bring in the dirty talk, but keep going because the reward is sweet! Remember, the woman is in need of nurturing so continue to listen, watch, and offer to give her assistance in a way that is not sexual. Believe it or not, giving her attention is already a small offering. This is so easy guys, you can do this!

Now, if you have the imbalanced superwoman who works out, thrives in her career, runs the show at home and is literally drying up from her lack of nourishing activity, you have to reach her where she is. This is where you need to dominate! Women who are in positions of power got there because they can rise to challenges and persevere. She might be tired at the end of a long day, but you can spark adrenaline in this woman, which will excite her. This is the woman that you grab in the kitchen while she’s cooking dinner, kiss her passionately and take control away from her, for just a short time. The key is that you help her with whatever you took her away from after the fact. This will go a long way for the next time you steal her from her precious to-do list. Even though this approach is aggressive, it is slowly allowing nurturing from another. Kissing is a very nurturing, and receiving physical attention from another is nurturing in a very primal way, and receiving help from someone is a huge step in the right directions for women who need to let go.

Next is the woman who is drowning in her false nurturing. This woman needs to feel her spark before you can throw yours at her. Reminisce on a moment when that spark was alive (preferably nonsexual). She may have told a story at a party that had the room captivated, made an amazing holiday meal that everyone raves about, or anything that was a lively memory. As you go back to that moment, touch her in a nonsexual way; rub her feet, hold her hand, in other words, do something sweet. This will connect the physical sensation of pleasure to that spark that had her doing whatever she was doing in the moment you were reminiscing about. Get her talking and involved, and while you are nurturing her at the same time – you want to keep fueling that fire. Raise the bar as she gets more involved. You might get her up to dance, lean in to kiss her and let her kiss you. Remember you are stoking her furnace, if you overtake the situation she will check out. Just like the Taiji symbol, the seed of potential is there, allow it to grow and take her from still waters to a raging boil. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

It’s really simple to use these principles to better your personal and professional relationships. At first it may be hard to really see yourself and identify where you are in terms of yin and yang, especially when your life is out of balance. Once you get yourself to a good place, and have a general understanding of your unique blend of yin and yang, you will easily be able to identify the patterns in others. The key is to recognize that the way to have more sex with a woman is to figure out how to nourish her. You are the yang, it is your job to get it going.

Amy Gendron, A.P

View posts by Amy Gendron, A.P
Amy is an Acupuncture Physician in the state of Florida where she works in an integrative medicine practice. She has studied abroad in Yunnan China under some of the nations top doctors. In addition she has extensive training in Mei Zen Cosmetic Acupuncture, Reiki, personal training and as a labor and delivery doula. Her experience as a NCAA Champion in field hockey influences how she approaches her personal and professional life- Go big or go home!


  1. Sam IsaacsSeptember 29, 2015

    This is an interesting article, in a way that is different than most. Generally, it is difficult to discuss sex and relationships in any substantial manner, but I think that you do a nice job of this. The Ying and the Yang represent, to me, the different parts that represent male and the female composition and makeup. I think it is important for men to know how to get involved sexually with the woman in their lives. I think this notion is also essential for women as well. Generally speaking, I think this better understanding will lead to not just a better sexual relationship, but a more well rounded and complete relationship experience.

  2. anthonyOctober 1, 2015

    Thanks, I appreciate your knowledge. We live in such a hurry up world that we can get lost in to thinking that sex needs to be hurried up as well. Particularly, I realize how pornography short sides our fulfillment with sex. There is instant pleasure but we are unfulfilled. You describe ways for men to act that can bring great fulfillment. I think men have stop being lazy when it comes to sex, not the physical act but things potentially leading up to it as you described. Thank you.

  3. Amy GendronOctober 6, 2015

    I am so happy that this article was well received. Opening up the discussion is the first step towards change. I really appreciate the positive feedback!

  4. John AhcafNovember 5, 2015

    Depression is one of the leading causes for suicide. This is why figuring out the mental health for men is so important

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