Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is due any day and until a week or so ago, everything was going incredibly smoothly. She and I took classes and we both read your book, “The Expectant Father” (which she liked better than most of the pregnancy books written for women). The pregnancy has been uneventful and the baby is doing great. But one night, I woke up in a cold sweat, worrying like crazy about, well, everything, like my wife getting sick, or something going wrong during the delivery, or any number of other things. The weird thing is that while I’m laying there in bed unable to sleep, my wife is sleeping like a baby. I feel silly asking any of my friends about this. Is this kind of anxiety common among dads-to-be?
A: Bravo on having the guts to ask this question. Over the years, I’ve interviewed thousands of new dads. and it’s pretty rare to find one who doesn’t admit (usually privately, and after some prodding on my part) to having some pre-birth anxiety. Given how many legitimate things there are to worry about, I’m pretty confident that the guys who don’t admit it are lying—or not paying enough attention.
Unfortunately, very few expectant dads will publicly admit that they’re afraid (especially not to their partner). Not surprisingly, that just makes things worse.