Beyond “Man Up”: Confronting the Hidden Crisis in Men’s Mental Health
By: Shelby Leventhal
* The thoughts, opinions, and statements in this blog do not necessarily follow the opinions or stances of Men’s Health Network *
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The Silent Battle Men Face
Man’s battle with mental health, how often do you see that in the media? Not nearly as much as you see women’s battle with mental health. Studies show that 1 in 10 men experience mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, and a plethora of others. This number is a sharp contrast to the 1 in 5 women who combat their own mental health challenges. However, just because there are not as many cases of men struggling, does this mean we should not advocate for these strong soldiers? No.
I am here to tell you why men’s mental health is not talked about enough and why empathy for men is not just a statement; it’s a necessity.
Young Men Carrying Invisible Weight
Through my soon-to-be 4 years of college, I have seen young men carry their struggles silently, hiding their mental health challenges and masking them behind humor and false confidence. Though these young men face the same emotional turmoil that anyone else does, they feel like they can’t share those feelings with anyone else.
One young man shares, “One of my best friends passed away my freshman year, I started struggling with depression and started isolating myself, I wasn’t doing anything I used to. It wasn’t until I started opening up to my friends that I felt like I got more comfortable with being real about how I felt.”
His story is a reminder that vulnerability freed him and can do the same for others.
How Media Shapes Masculinity
Mass media is at the forefront of everything we say and do, and with that comes the gender portrayals.
Think for a moment about your favorite piece of media, whether it be a novel, film, or television show. Who are the characters and what are their character traits? More importantly, what are the male’s character traits?
Recent studies have shown that the media forces harmful masculine stereotypes among men, and the more media men take in, the more harmful these pressures are. The media often portrays men as dominant, powerful, and fearless, with hardly ever an ounce of emotion.
An article entitled “Media Pressures Men to Conform to Harmful Masculine Stereotypes” discusses how the modern media world should aim to ditch the stereotypes.
One of the men present even stated, “Real masculinity for me is about being vulnerable, present, and open. It’s about breaking through those dated stereotypes, so we can build healthier relationships with our partners, our kids, and ourselves.”
Being a daughter, I can attest that having a father who is willing to be vulnerable and use that as a moment of growth has been nothing but rewarding to our relationship, allowing me to see the strength in vulnerability rather than the silence.
Where Does Silence Come From? Understanding Alexithymia
Let’s discuss why the walls of ignorance and avoidance stand where they do. Why are men told to stay quiet about their internal struggles?
In a course I completed at the University of Kentucky, I delved deeply into the term Normative Male Alexithymia. The term is complex, so let’s break it down; normative means “Deriving from a standard or norm,” and alexithymia means “without words for emotions.” Simply put, NMA is a difficulty in indicating, processing, and showing emotions outwardly. NMA is not a clinical disorder, but rather a phenomenon that can be etched into a man’s personality.
Men commonly develop this trait while growing up, starting at a young age; I know we have all heard the phrases “Man up,” “boys don’t cry,” and toughen up.
These “harmless” and age-old phrases do not age well in some instances and can be a fundamental reason men begin developing NMA. Scientific signs of NMA in adult men include “restriction of emotional expression, demonstrations of ‘status’ or ‘toughness,’ and presenting as in control.”
How We Can Support the Men in Our Lives
Though this phenomenon can be detrimental to mental health, we can make strides towards a more emotionally fluent society. Do you have a man in your life who identifies with these traits? If your answer is yes, there are a plethora of ways to support them. First, stand behind these men; it is not their fault.
Encourage them to truly feel their emotions and let the pent-up feelings dissolve. On a more serious note, encourage them to seek help; going to therapy is not unmanly, but rather the very opposite.
Why Seeking Help Matters
Let’s discuss seeking help and the statistics. Studies show that less than half of the men who experience depression and corresponding mental health issues seek help. In fact, over 6 million men struggle with depression, but most of these cases go undiagnosed.
Why should men seek help?
Men seeking help are actively breaking the stigma that men need to ignore their emotions.
There are so many positives when men leap; they can become better sons, uncles, dads, husbands, and a plethora of other imperative roles men play.
A Call to Remember Men
We need to remember men, let this blog be an invitation to have sincere conversations with the men in your life.
I know that the men in mine serve as some of the most important relationships to me, and allowing these figures to express their emotions has allowed for closer and more insightful relationships.
About the Author:
Shelby Leventhal is a rising senior at the University of Kentucky, pursuing a degree in Communications and Journalism. A dedicated member of Delta Zeta sorority, Shelby is known for her vibrant personality, leadership, and commitment to fostering a sense of community.
Outside of academics, Shelby enjoys a variety of hobbies that reflect her dynamic interests. She’s an enthusiastic participant in recreational sports, a lover of music, an adventurous cook, and a devoted friend to all things furry. Whether she’s cheering on her Wildcats or spending time with her sorority sisters, Shelby brings creativity and energy to everything she does.
Shelby is passionate about using her social media expertise to inspire and connect with others, always striving to leave a positive impact wherever she goes.
